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FlamingColor's favorite FMLs
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 1:45am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by giantsfan2010 / 09/23/2010 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Money
by hatesgravity / 09/02/2010 at 7:40am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML
by Peekaman / 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML
by kylie / 08/10/2010 at 3:22am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML
by nitroman64 / 07/30/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
by lashless / 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by LG / 03/17/2010 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML
by AlyssaBC / 03/06/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by btg / 02/06/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Animals
by FavreFan99 / 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays
Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 7:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…