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FlamingColor's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
by Steve / 12/16/2012 at 1:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
by AHole / 11/21/2012 at 9:03am / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by izziegrl / 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm / Mexico (Mexico) / Money
by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my parents had a family discussion about my sister's birthday plans because it was the "next… Today, I am at work as a programmer. It's 32°C/90°F outside and my coworker needs to have 3 desktop… Today, at work, because I have been having bowel problems I sat longer than normal on the toilet. I…