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About FlamingColor : Have a great day and take care!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
2day with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of looool the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over mah living room. I was eating cereal in mah underwear, in the living room, drectly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
TODAY, A GRL CAME UP TO ME ON THE STREET AND SAID, "YOU HAVE LYK NO SWAG, BRO." FEELING CLEVER, I SAID, "AT LEAST I HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION." SHE THEN TOOK OUT HER WORK ID, SHOWING ME THAT SHE WAS A SURGEON, FLIPPD ME OFF, THEN WALKD AWAY SAYING, "THIS IS TOTALLY GOING ON FACEBOOK." FML
Today , I finally figurd outy I've been getting diarrea so often over te past six monts . It only appensenever I do someting "sneaky" . My body reacts strongly to ow I stress over potentially getting caugt . I'm a private investigator , and I apparently ned a new career . fat FML
Today, my grlfriend and I were in the mood fir something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML
Today, trying to be kinkyhile giving mah boyfriend a blow job, Ihippd him with mah ponytail!! He was thrilld, until I accidentally head-buttd his dick!! He curld up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again!! FML
YESTERDAY, JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO ORGASM, MY BOYFRIEND WHISPERED, "CUM, MY PRECIOUSSSSS" INTO MY EAR, IN HIS SCARILY ACCURATE GOLLUM VOICE. I THINK MY CLITORIS JUST ABOUT WITHERED AWAY IN DESPAIR. FML
TODAY COLLEGE CLASS WAS TALKING ABOUT FELIX BAUMGARTNER WHO JUMPED FROM THE EDGE OF SPACE DOWN TO EARTH. A BOY SUDDENLY PUT HIS HEAD UP AND SAID IN A SERIOUS TONE "I THOUGHT HE JUMPED FROM THE MOON?" SEVERAL GRLS CONCURRED. THIS IS GENERATION. FML
Friday 27 March 2015