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Flaggermus

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Flaggermus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 December 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Flaggermus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (3883)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (1935)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43347) - you deserved it (3796)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38434) - you deserved it (3357)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

#17757817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24157) - you deserved it (3548)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (3819)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31851) - you deserved it (3099)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you deserved it (28510)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12144) - you deserved it (52624)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33026) - you deserved it (6649)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (4762)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41115) - you deserved it (2613)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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