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Filitov

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Filitov

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1870
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Filitov : Now that I'm starting to comment more frequently, I'll update this at some point to be a little more enlightening. That is... as soon as I stop procrastinating to do so. So I'll probably get that taken care of before 2015 or so.

Rawr.

I come to FML to get a laugh. Sometimes from the stories, sometimes from the comments. I periodically comment on them myself. Sometimes I reply trying to be insightful, and sometimes I'm just a smart-ass. If you can't distinguish between the two: your loss.

If you type like an ADHD child on meth, you can and will be ignored.

Message me if you'd like. I don't bite... hard.

Filitov's page activity

Visits<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:05am<b>garage</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:34pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:26pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:47pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:47pm<b>justin1205</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:59pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Nexoux</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:49am<b>RollerCoasterLif</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:36am<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:55pm<b>that_one_guy423</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:32pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:02pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 6:44am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:54pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:15pm<b>sezual</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:45am<b>myoukei</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 9:40am

Filitov's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Filitov's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29990) - you deserved it (5071)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29990) - you deserved it (5071)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10562) - you deserved it (20282)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70857) - you deserved it (4960)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (4902)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (5378)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33762) - you deserved it (3898)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (4104)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18814) - you deserved it (6470)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (12571)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33834) - you deserved it (2486)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

#5194159
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36626) - you deserved it (3016)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by sucksforme (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40576) - you deserved it (2784)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57426) - you deserved it (4812)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69474) - you deserved it (4241)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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