About Feverrotes : I wanna do something so totally awesome right now.
Mobility
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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15420) - you deserved it (90359)
On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49946) - you deserved it (13587)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30790) - you deserved it (6206)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (2554)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6749) - you deserved it (37262)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (11361)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24756) - you deserved it (2451)
On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (14655)
On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20477) - you deserved it (1507)
On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3045) - you deserved it (31507)
On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20280) - you deserved it (1710)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18814) - you deserved it (1653)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (109071)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19250) - you deserved it (1100)
On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (3203)
On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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