About FeelingRandi : Well I'm Randi, I am a writer, I'm very much underemployed but love my job, I'm not fucking unhappy, that's simply how my face looks. I'm obsessed with candy. OH& I'M A RAY OF GODDAMN SUNSHINE.
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FeelingRandi's favorite FMLs
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Chelsea / 05/18/2013 at 4:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 6:51am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Beast / 03/30/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML
by anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 10:52am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, is my 16 birthday. Today also marks one week my electric and water has been shut off. 6 days… Today, as i was wrestling my girlfriend, i had told her I'd go really easy on her because i did not… Today, I finally got my cast off from having a fractured foot. I wanted to instantly start working…