About FayVee : Rules for FML posts: 1). If it has to do with "like" and not "love", don't post it.2). If its self sexual, don't post it.3). Any weird sex themes, don't post it.4). ALWAYS start with Today, and end with FML.5). If it has to do with getting "grounded" or having technology taken from you, DO NOT post it.6). If you are under 13 years of age, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD do NOT post anything. Its all stupid crap complaining about problems that aren't very severe at all.
FayVee's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
FayVee's favorite FMLs
by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by ChangoFett / 05/26/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Work
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
by assoutofuandme / 02/14/2013 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
by anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm / Australia / Health
by awkwardparents / 08/06/2012 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Love
by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
by crankg / 10/21/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
by yeah_im_mad_bro / 09/23/2011 at 8:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…