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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (4380)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (10927)
On 01/26/2011 at 8:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10078) - you deserved it (18131)
On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (5383)
On 11/22/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by dumbteacher -
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47498) - you deserved it (6507)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (9844)
On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15891) - you deserved it (27945)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6187) - you deserved it (21492)
On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16013) - you deserved it (8663)
On 11/05/2010 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gwynedd)
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29196) - you deserved it (12835)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (27642)
On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (4051)
On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (23017)
On 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6634) - you deserved it (26723)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (11260)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
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