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FalconSam1414's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/26/2014 at 7:09am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Animals
by uterurist / 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by UTRejected / 11/21/2014 at 8:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by fuck fof and die dad / 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
by jigglypluff / 11/19/2014 at 12:27am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
by drugsforthugs / 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by jessiejaybee / 11/18/2014 at 5:41am / United States / Love
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
by no / 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML
by UH60 / 11/15/2014 at 5:58pm / Kuwait (Al Kuwayt) / Work
by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work
by PPP / 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm / United States / Animals
Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML
by really / 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…