Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falassalond

Online | Search for a member

Falassalond

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 October 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3235
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!

Falassalond's page activity

Visits<b>0void0</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:32am<b>imolai</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:10am<b>Catosama</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:52pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:32pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:09pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:10pm<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:44pm<b>myind_yabiness</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:18pm<b>c8linc</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:32am<b>Duggie1339</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:47pm<b>amanimonster</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:44pm<b>cat_lover225</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:36pm<b>rawlings123</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 7:16pm<b>blacklav3nd3r</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:47pm<b>DemonX</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:55am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:21am

Falassalond's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Falassalond's badges

Falassalond's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48982) - you deserved it (4947)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50269) - you deserved it (10643)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54528) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61217) - you deserved it (4175)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44503) - you deserved it (9611)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50080) - you deserved it (7423)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60306) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76057) - you deserved it (3700)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38833) - you deserved it (7568)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (5723)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54563) - you deserved it (4457)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58629) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37895) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: