About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!
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Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your f*cking car and get the f*ck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10307) - you deserved it (23226)
On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15582) - you deserved it (2526)
On 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by omgomgomg (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18410) - you deserved it (32075)
On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (5187)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17446) - you deserved it (9799)
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (11992) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16541) - you deserved it (6589)
On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (7642)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (27688)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9003) - you deserved it (29760)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8006) - you deserved it (27077)
On 10/08/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7160) - you deserved it (13134)
On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16118) - you deserved it (32344)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (9706)
On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22761) - you deserved it (4590)
On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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