Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falassalond

Online | Search for a member

Falassalond

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3879
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!

Falassalond's page activity

Visits<b>xSaru</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:00pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:28am<b>0void0</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:32am<b>imolai</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:10am<b>Catosama</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:52pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:32pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:09pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:10pm<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:44pm<b>myind_yabiness</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:18pm<b>c8linc</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:32am<b>Duggie1339</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:47pm<b>amanimonster</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:44pm<b>cat_lover225</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:36pm<b>rawlings123</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 7:16pm<b>blacklav3nd3r</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:47pm

Falassalond's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Falassalond's badges

Falassalond's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31075) - you deserved it (14741)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43527) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (4866)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (39081)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47358) - you deserved it (4400)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32612) - you deserved it (6342)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47508) - you deserved it (4079)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51638) - you deserved it (18795)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (3073)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (10687)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (4699)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56374) - you deserved it (6009)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: