Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Falassalond

Online | Search for a member

Falassalond

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 October 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2757
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!

Falassalond's page activity

Visits<b>colby6666</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:09pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:10pm<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:44pm<b>myind_yabiness</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:18pm<b>c8linc</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:32am<b>Duggie1339</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:47pm<b>amanimonster</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:44pm<b>cat_lover225</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:36pm<b>rawlings123</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 7:16pm<b>blacklav3nd3r</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:47pm<b>DemonX</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 9:55am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:21am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 11:34pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 8:33pm<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:48am<b>basicperfection</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 7:12pm

Falassalond's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Falassalond's badges

Falassalond's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (4586)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56139) - you deserved it (5986)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48472) - you deserved it (8057) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35924) - you deserved it (4019)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45041) - you deserved it (10562)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41500) - you deserved it (2349)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52053) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54737) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (5502)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43199) - you deserved it (2936)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54157) - you deserved it (6158)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (4909)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (3434)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67113) - you deserved it (8846)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: