About Falassalond : Hi! I've been on FML for a long time. I read comments a lot. The best part of FML is the comments. Most of you have probably made me laugh. So thanks. Have a nice day!
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Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56590) - you deserved it (2319)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25283) - you deserved it (11773)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends and I were going to do an ugly sweater photo shoot. When we met up, one of them was wearing a sweater I gave on her birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20999) - you deserved it (8679)
On 11/25/2011 at 1:08pm - misc - by ravlol - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (42222)
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39137) - you deserved it (3772)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32387) - you deserved it (4357)
On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (2038)
On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21062) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7102) - you deserved it (22946)
On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)
Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (2108)
On 11/12/2011 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13062) - you deserved it (3829)
On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23139) - you deserved it (8570)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by friedchicken - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25253) - you deserved it (1758)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm - misc - by deviable - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19784) - you deserved it (2574)
On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)
Today, I picked up a broken piece of seemingly velvety cactus to show my mom. I now have a million microscopic, painful splinters in my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (25692)
On 11/06/2011 at 1:24pm - health - by OhHeySlogan - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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