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Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (1261)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - health - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (26566)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (13468)
On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (3053) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (1296)
On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)
Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13076) - you deserved it (8315)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18911) - you deserved it (1188)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (6298)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15241) - you deserved it (1171)
On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (12946)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25101) - you deserved it (5454)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4183) - you deserved it (33310)
On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (1347)
On 04/28/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by Steve - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (1466)
On 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm - love - by nofrickenway - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (1129)
On 04/23/2012 at 1:50am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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