About FailBear920 : It was a joke Robin
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Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17033) - you deserved it (4132)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)
Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17791) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (54097)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19459) - you deserved it (5208)
On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4364) - you deserved it (15027)
On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18727) - you deserved it (1055)
On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13101) - you deserved it (4911)
On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44996) - you deserved it (2279)
On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (18376)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9036) - you deserved it (55684)
On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version
Sunday 12 May 2013
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