FailBear920

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FailBear920

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12562
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FailBear920 : TYBG! I'm Based and I Love Lil B

FailBear920's page activity

Visits<b>Balphleair</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 10:51am<b>luther48</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:41am<b>salii321</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:23am<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:05pm<b>snipebp</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:55am<b>Razor011</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:42pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:49am<b>SegaTortoise</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:01pm<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:59am<b>jacksontb</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:50am<b>xXCODGODXx</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:28pm<b>kkelly22</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:52am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:39pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:00am<b>Risea</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:06am<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>GuyOrange</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:40pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:15am

Fucked!<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:05am<b>max__333</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:39am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:30pm

FailBear920's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FailBear920's badges

FailBear920's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

by rebecca / 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

by epictothemax / 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

by epictothemax / 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

by monty / 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

by ohnolunch / 03/05/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

by katzperiod / 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.