About FailBear920 : It was a joke Robin
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (11785)
On 03/05/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by ohnolunch - United States (California)
Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10953) - you deserved it (37440)
On 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm - health - by katzperiod (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39444) - you deserved it (4348)
On 02/25/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by wheels - United States (Maryland)
Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (7246)
On 02/21/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by Whothrewhim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204815) - you deserved it (40478)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178375) - you deserved it (61522)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178375) - you deserved it (61522)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408891) - you deserved it (26499)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (42870)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30958) - you deserved it (2306)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (10455)
On 02/08/2009 at 8:55am - misc - by Kath (woman) - Poland (Gdansk)
Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47454) - you deserved it (6934)
On 02/05/2009 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Barrel - United States (Missouri)
Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47454) - you deserved it (6934)
On 02/05/2009 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Barrel - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12724) - you deserved it (36864)
On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)
Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (2467)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
