Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About FailBear920 : TYBG! I'm Based and I Love Lil B
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
today a neo-Nazi stopped me an commented on blue eyes an blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", an should follow him an other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, an other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around neck. FML
today my parents staged a family intervention an gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently I'm an alcoholic in denial. real FML
Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my cloths in my own home. FML
TODAY , I HAD TO SIT ON THE BUS NEXT TO A CREEPY GUY. HE BEGAN PESTERING ME WITH OVERLY-SEXUAL STATEMENTS , AN FINALLY I TOLD HIM I HAD A BOYFRIEND. HE RESPONDD WITH "TELL ME HIS NAME SO I CAN TRACK HIM DOWN , KILL HIM , AN HOPEFULLY TAKE HIS PLACE." BIG FAT FML
looool Today, I wore mah brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, mah dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought mah chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where yur tits went." FML
Today, sister askd me to explain where to put a tampon. I realizd near the end of the conversation that she believd the urine, feces, an blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forcd to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
Today... I Was Talking Wit My Uncle... Wen Te Subject Of My Abusive Moter-in-law Cummed Up. He Assured Me E'd Talk To Er An Straigten Tings Out. Apparently Tis Means Posting On Er Facebook Wall Treatening To "pimp-slap A Bitc" If Se Doesn't Get Er "fat Ass Out Of Family Business". FML
Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is fir kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I putted the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML
Today, it was mah first day at school in the United States . Being from France, mah French accent is really strong . After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal . I was so excited an said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML
Today, mah girlfriend called me over to her house!! When I knocked, no one responded to the door!! I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool!! I kneeled by her and placed mah hand on her butt, kissing her neck!! What I heard next, "So this is what u do with mah daughter." FML
Friday 27 March 2015