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Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (3459)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (3459)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2818)
On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12802) - you deserved it (21983)
On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (6248)
On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (5824)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34932) - you deserved it (2441)
On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (6816)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43849) - you deserved it (7848)
On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I stepped outside my office building for a smoke break and I witnessed a mugging so I ran over to stop it. I succeeded in getting mugged instead of the original target. I then couldn't get into my building until a coworker left an hour later. My boss was mad and still doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21472) - you deserved it (3922)
On 04/08/2011 at 7:58am - work - by Fired -
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (5109)
On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (36933)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8645) - you deserved it (28643)
On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States
Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2048)
On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -
Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (2436)
On 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm - health - by milkndstufff (man) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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