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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42017) - you deserved it (5346)
On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44565) - you deserved it (6102)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59903) - you deserved it (8335)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42140) - you deserved it (12211)
On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35237) - you deserved it (4515)
On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (15546)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (2064)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19826) - you deserved it (8002)
On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16205) - you deserved it (1376)
On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5633) - you deserved it (18936)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (4015)
On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (1049)
On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15559) - you deserved it (4092)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (66341)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (3462)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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