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F___M__L
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  • Number of visits : 1095
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (15766)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55744) - you deserved it (24214)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47133) - you deserved it (11845)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3605) - you deserved it (28362)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (18390)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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