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F___M__L
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (36300)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (9303)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (3568)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

#18620963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (3208)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by maddie - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

#18613086
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56) - you deserved it (4545)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Cary (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (5509)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (23500)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12491) - you deserved it (39324)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5837) - you deserved it (42562)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

#17883689
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (2759)

On 10/02/2011 at 1:15am - work - by katt_is_here (woman) - United States (Colorado)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17726) - you deserved it (6815)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (2600)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47756) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (11431)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45938) - you deserved it (5586)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)



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