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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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F___M__L
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 714
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (1628) - you deserved it (11776)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

#18966714 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (7101) - you deserved it (537)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (7132) - you deserved it (1229)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML

#18891757 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (6393) - you deserved it (687)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by unholy shit (man) - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (2107) - you deserved it (12018)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

#18823923 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (2913) - you deserved it (7277)

On 01/16/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (6967) - you deserved it (3482)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (3347) - you deserved it (5552)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks (6510) - you deserved it (597)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (8791) - you deserved it (651)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (7795) - you deserved it (1033)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (28050)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (3370)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006 (414)

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (1228)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

#18613086 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (4168)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Cary (man) - United States (New Mexico)



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