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FYLminerocks's favorite FMLs
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML
by whatisthisidonteven / 09/23/2012 at 5:23am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Work
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
by scorpionsurviver / 07/08/2012 at 5:47am / United States / Animals
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML
by friend / 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Kids
by RatCityChick / 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Oraashi / 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
by :( / 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Schaf_12 / 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm / Austria (Wien) / Love
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by pandora / 06/13/2012 at 5:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health
by Former Drummer / 06/03/2012 at 5:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health