About FMyHawk : Hawkeyes, Cowboys, and Cubs fan...only the last 2 make me say FML though.
My profile picture is a baby pangolin...it is quite the ugly bastard isn't it?
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (28642)
On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (5186)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (4554)
On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (2292)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (3956)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (69230)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45369) - you deserved it (4597)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (1654)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (7455)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19175) - you deserved it (3830)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (5442)
On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42752) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3647)
On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (73772)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58593) - you deserved it (156947)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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