Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMyHawk

Search for a member

FMyHawk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 647
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About FMyHawk : Hawkeyes, Cowboys, and Cubs fan...only the last 2 make me say FML though.

My profile picture is a baby pangolin...it is quite the ugly bastard isn't it?

FMyHawk's page activity

Visits<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 12:47am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 6:08am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/04/2012 at 7:53pm<b>candy29</b> - the 04/04/2012 at 9:40pm<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 02/29/2012 at 10:52am<b>bri5083</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 11:44pm

FMyHawk's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of FMyHawk's badges

FMyHawk's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (12828)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (7826)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (7709)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30542) - you deserved it (4069) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12244) - you deserved it (40521)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (6886)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (5983)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35850) - you deserved it (4498)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
709 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18659) - you deserved it (95001)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32997) - you deserved it (2363)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43202) - you deserved it (9580)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25705) - you deserved it (5504)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (6162)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: