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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you deserved it (34388)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7044) - you deserved it (71766)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38665) - you deserved it (3475)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56792) - you deserved it (2466)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50641) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (7335)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52615) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45904) - you deserved it (15273)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42825) - you deserved it (2908)
On 08/03/2009 at 7:45am - misc - by callerid (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (7427)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91579) - you deserved it (27417)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5165) - you deserved it (52810)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:37pm - kids - by buggermonster (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97021) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (153942) - you deserved it (8636)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193526) - you deserved it (18048)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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