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Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14035) - you totally deserved it (2391)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you totally deserved it (1361)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5443) - you totally deserved it (17612)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7620) - you totally deserved it (20527)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8940) - you totally deserved it (15969)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15541) - you totally deserved it (1339)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you totally deserved it (2498)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18960) - you totally deserved it (1000)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5159) - you totally deserved it (38993)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you totally deserved it (14125)
On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you totally deserved it (4158)
On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you totally deserved it (8272)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18990) - you totally deserved it (4836)
On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you totally deserved it (6615)
On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you totally deserved it (1113)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)
