FMLbutYDI

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FMLbutYDI

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2686
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About FMLbutYDI : I love FML. It's what I do when I'm bored.

FMLbutYDI's page activity

Visits<b>LadyIrene</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:03am<b>lobsterdude</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 4:01pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:08am<b>mhterp90</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:15pm<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:05am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 3:10pm<b>trisc97</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:00am<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:11pm<b>aaalllaaa</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:07am<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:22pm<b>megwithcat</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 9:55pm<b>lalalexie88</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:01am<b>greenmonkey1234</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:40pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 12:58pm<b>procrastinate12</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:06pm<b>Jaaared_</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 5:20pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 1:40pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 3:29pm

FMLbutYDI's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FMLbutYDI's badges

FMLbutYDI's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

by ShittyWalls / 03/09/2013 at 8:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 6:29am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

by panicelement / 02/27/2013 at 2:17am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

by panicelement / 02/27/2013 at 2:17am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

by Jan / 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

by Sammy / 02/25/2013 at 2:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals