[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

FML_user

Search for a member

FML_user
  • Town/Country : Surrey, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 November 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 802
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About FML_user : My name is Brittany;
I have an imaginary friend named Blueden Barcodes,
I am physically 15 but i think i should be 16,
My dad left me and my family for drugs,
I have a wonderful boyfriend.. who lives 144 miles away,
My favorite band since 2006 is Three Days Grace,

I have a good life and a shitty past..
i'm not the only one with that problem though, am i?

FML_user's last visitors

FreezeRobin_HolywoodprevertDarkMirrorStuffHappensArmarosMazzylexxi_kvucko

FML_user's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

FML_user's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (57374)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said "is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" and when I answered "yes," he turned and walked out of the room. FML

#2693360 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (44529) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by szinna - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (500)

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (232590)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (14238) - you deserved it (55999)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (4331)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

#2107196 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (12132) - you deserved it (35237)

On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (61587) - you deserved it (18804)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

#1489394 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (10524) - you deserved it (63579)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

#1487468 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (72223) - you deserved it (6272)

On 04/30/2009 at 11:11am - health - by buymeadrank (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you deserved it (7529)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

#1454784 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (56298) - you deserved it (3507)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860 (329)

I agree, your life sucks (113292) - you deserved it (7590)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (55264) - you deserved it (32503)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (14613) - you deserved it (34913)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML

#1445929 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (61828) - you deserved it (2579)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by kattydoo07 - United States (Illinois)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2012 by