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EyesofStone

Offline (the 05/29/2015 at 6:05pm) | Search for a member

EyesofStone

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2653
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EyesofStone : I've been around FML for a quite some time, but just made an account. I've been watching long enough to know the regulars, to spell check all comments, and to not ask stupid questions like, "What does OP stand for??"
I mean, everyone knows it's Oscillating Potato.
Docbastard is my FML hero.
I have a dry sense of humor but it shouldn't offend anyone.
There's nothing I hate more than the people who manage to use a word three or more time in FMLs that are three or fewer sentences long.
My user name comes from a line in a Backstreet Boys song.

EyesofStone's page activity

Visits<b>hantu69</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Season_D</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:26am<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:23am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:56am<b>PackersBacker</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:59pm<b>MattChristensen</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:37am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 7:06pm<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:19pm<b>tehdarkness</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:21pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:01pm<b>lauralabia3</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:36am<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:37pm<b>chrisbreastr0kr</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:09am<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:02pm<b>basicd1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:37am<b>lukian</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:26am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:26am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:40pm

EyesofStone's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of EyesofStone's badges

EyesofStone's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

#3720470
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57073) - you deserved it (29737)

On 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by JackOLantern (man) - Satellite Provider

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (80661)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84437) - you deserved it (20498)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (76111)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

#1316635
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53177) - you deserved it (4689)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

#1212600
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16686) - you deserved it (147490)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you deserved it (102705)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176087) - you deserved it (28388)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74830) - you deserved it (5678)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

#121386
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44048) - you deserved it (4968)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

#89031
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47863) - you deserved it (5755)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11321) - you deserved it (69487)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)



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