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EyesofStone

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EyesofStone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2104
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About EyesofStone : I've been around FML for a quite some time, but just made an account. I've been watching long enough to know the regulars, to spell check all comments, and to not ask stupid questions like, "What does OP stand for??"
I mean, everyone knows it's Oscillating Potato.
Docbastard is my FML hero.
I have a dry sense of humor but it shouldn't offend anyone.
There's nothing I hate more than the people who manage to use a word three or more time in FMLs that are three or fewer sentences long.
My user name comes from a line in a Backstreet Boys song.

EyesofStone's page activity

Visits<b>matt721</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:23am<b>PixieWolfe</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:05am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Kimberly95</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 8:59am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:19am<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:06am<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:57pm<b>CaffieneKing</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:13am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:44am<b>RawrImaDragon</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Keiren</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 9:44pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:04am<b>COOL__Coal</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:58pm<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 9:16am<b>whinthy</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:49am<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 11:15am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 11/12/2012 at 1:25pm

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EyesofStone's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (75966)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

#1316635
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53034) - you deserved it (4675)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

#1212600
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16598) - you deserved it (146744)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8666) - you deserved it (102370)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169919) - you deserved it (27454)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74633) - you deserved it (5670)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

#121386
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (4959)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

#89031
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47728) - you deserved it (5742)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (69309)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (9254)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

#2762
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7003) - you deserved it (21897)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:10am - work - by duh - United States (South Carolina)



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