EyesofStone

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Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 8:51pm)

EyesofStone

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4184
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EyesofStone : I've been around FML for a quite some time, but just made an account. I've been watching long enough to know the regulars, to spell check all comments, and to not ask stupid questions like, "What does OP stand for??"
I mean, everyone knows it's Oscillating Potato.
Been lurking/ for about 4.5 years at this point.
Docbastard is my FML hero.
I have a dry sense of humor but it shouldn't offend anyone.
There's nothing I hate more than the people who manage to use a word three or more time in FMLs that are three or fewer sentences long.
My user name comes from a line in a Backstreet Boys song.

EyesofStone's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Dear_Karma</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 7:30pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 7:26pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:29am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Sweet_Melody</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 7:17pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 6:24pm<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 1:38am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:50am<b>Arnoud</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:07am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:40pm<b>khnumber15</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:29pm<b>alex997</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:46am<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:12pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:08pm

Fucked!<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 1:25am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 2:28am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 4:41am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:26am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:40pm

EyesofStone's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of EyesofStone's badges

EyesofStone's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

by MobPerfect / 05/11/2012 at 9:24am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

by Diffy / 04/26/2012 at 7:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

by Mariah Heimann / 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

by sparklethelette / 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, my obnoxious mother-in-law berated me in front of my husband's family for still working while pregnant. She says I'm harming the baby by not quitting. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I work as a nurse at a hospital. FML

by monsterinlaw / 08/23/2011 at 10:51am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health