EyesofStone

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Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 8:51pm)

EyesofStone

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3493
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EyesofStone : I've been around FML for a quite some time, but just made an account. I've been watching long enough to know the regulars, to spell check all comments, and to not ask stupid questions like, "What does OP stand for??"
I mean, everyone knows it's Oscillating Potato.
Been lurking/ for about 4.5 years at this point.
Docbastard is my FML hero.
I have a dry sense of humor but it shouldn't offend anyone.
There's nothing I hate more than the people who manage to use a word three or more time in FMLs that are three or fewer sentences long.
My user name comes from a line in a Backstreet Boys song.

EyesofStone's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:29am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Sweet_Melody</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 7:17pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 6:24pm<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 1:38am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:50am<b>Arnoud</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:07am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:40pm<b>khnumber15</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:29pm<b>alex997</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:46am<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:12pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:08pm<b>hai111</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:55am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:14pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:32am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 2:28am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 4:41am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:26am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:40pm

EyesofStone's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of EyesofStone's badges

EyesofStone's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

by IvyLeague? / 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 6:27am / Israel / Kids

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

by time to put you down, gran / 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

by wow @ creepy fuckers / 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Work

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

by he's mine / 11/14/2012 at 2:46am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

by he's mine / 11/14/2012 at 2:46am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

by me / 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous