Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

EyesofStone

Search for a member

EyesofStone

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1576
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About EyesofStone : I've been around FML for a quite some time, but just made an account. I've been watching long enough to know the regulars, to spell check all comments, and to not ask stupid questions like, "What does OP stand for??"
I mean, everyone knows it's Oscillating Potato.
Docbastard is my FML hero.
I have a dry sense of humor but it shouldn't offend anyone.
My user name comes from a line in a Backstreet Boys song.

EyesofStone's page activity

Visits<b>CaffieneKing</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:13am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:44am<b>RawrImaDragon</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:26pm<b>Keiren</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 9:44pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:04am<b>COOL__Coal</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:58pm<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 9:16am<b>whinthy</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:49am<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 11:15am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 11/12/2012 at 1:25pm<b>sammyjanette</b> - the 06/17/2012 at 9:54pm

EyesofStone's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of EyesofStone's badges

EyesofStone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (4998)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26316) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34436) - you deserved it (3002)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18286) - you deserved it (36579)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (23095)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (23095)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8374) - you deserved it (104820)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8374) - you deserved it (104820)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (4644)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (4574)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (3559)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (2967)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10935) - you deserved it (27064)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

#19549907
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (5302)

On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44467) - you deserved it (3406)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: