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EyesofStone

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EyesofStone
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1017
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About EyesofStone : I've been around FML for a quite some time, but just made an account. I've been watching long enough to know the regulars, to spell check all comments, and to not ask stupid questions like, "What does OP stand for??"
I mean, everyone knows it's Oscillating Potato.
Docbastard is my FML hero.
I have a dry sense of humor but it shouldn't offend anyone.
My user name comes from a line in a Backstreet Boys song.

EyesofStone's last visitors

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EyesofStone's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of EyesofStone's badges

EyesofStone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (4716)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (4578)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you deserved it (32892)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (19404)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (19404)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6573) - you deserved it (94850)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6573) - you deserved it (94850)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (3393)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (3356)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (2735)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (25808)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

#19549907
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15373) - you deserved it (4908)

On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37784) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)



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