EyesofStone

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Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 8:51pm)

EyesofStone

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3948
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EyesofStone : I've been around FML for a quite some time, but just made an account. I've been watching long enough to know the regulars, to spell check all comments, and to not ask stupid questions like, "What does OP stand for??"
I mean, everyone knows it's Oscillating Potato.
Been lurking/ for about 4.5 years at this point.
Docbastard is my FML hero.
I have a dry sense of humor but it shouldn't offend anyone.
There's nothing I hate more than the people who manage to use a word three or more time in FMLs that are three or fewer sentences long.
My user name comes from a line in a Backstreet Boys song.

EyesofStone's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 6:43pm<b>Dear_Karma</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 7:30pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 7:26pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:29am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Sweet_Melody</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 7:17pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 6:24pm<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 1:38am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:50am<b>Arnoud</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:07am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:40pm<b>khnumber15</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:29pm<b>alex997</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:46am<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:12pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:08pm

Fucked!<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 1:25am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 2:28am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 4:41am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:26am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:40pm

EyesofStone's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of EyesofStone's badges

EyesofStone's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

by caisse à outs / 09/22/2015 at 9:06pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I got yelled at for 'letting' my muddy dog jump on my cousin's wedding dress as she was getting ready. I don't own a dog and haven't since I was a kid. FML

by FMe / 05/04/2015 at 10:49am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

by (._. ) / 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Love