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Eyeslick

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Eyeslick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1029
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Eyeslick's favorite FMLs

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (4398)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17419) - you deserved it (5410)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

#14843192
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (6374)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

#14802343
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54007) - you deserved it (6432)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

#14374773
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (10553)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

#14374773
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (10553)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

#14374773
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (10553)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17657) - you deserved it (4556)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

#14175657
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (5849)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my twin sister sent a nude picture to her boyfriend, who then forwarded it on to everyone else. Everyone else thinks it's me. FML

#13729352
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29960) - you deserved it (2339)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by jsquared - United States (California)

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

#13673921
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (3013)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66036) - you deserved it (2560)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (29172)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (31343)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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