Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eyeslick

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eyeslick

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2000
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Eyeslick : There's not much interesting about me other then being an avid gamer, Fighter (Jiu-jitsu), and a soccer (Futbol) player (High School and Competitive)...let's just say my high school did very very well this year so I don't give too much away. In the future I'm planning on majoring In Physical Therapy and minoring in Sports Psychology and hopefully working with professional sports teams. Living in Utah I'm obviously LDS (More commonly known as Mormons) and no we Mormons are not polygamists, FLDS people are and there is a big difference between our churches. :D There's not much else other than if you want to message me you can but I most likely won't answer back because most of the time I'm using the app. :p

Eyeslick's page activity

Visits<b>rrai2008</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:23am<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:35am<b>zxglle6382</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:28am<b>Kittandapaws</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:36am<b>peter_petrucci</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 5:02pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:42pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 8:23am<b>dingostacy</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:49pm<b>mallak_rabaa</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ouviuiyuctyu</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:42am<b>Sierra7211</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Mandalay22</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:36am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:55pm<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:44am<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:55pm<b>kittina</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:40am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 3:50pm

Eyeslick's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Eyeslick's badges

Eyeslick's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36444) - you deserved it (16904)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (13248)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79625) - you deserved it (8234)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33167) - you deserved it (4457)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44606) - you deserved it (2643)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47854) - you deserved it (21512)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48245) - you deserved it (5985)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (59822)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML

#20530332
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (6506)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43924) - you deserved it (6707)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (3426)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10701) - you deserved it (36593)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (8755)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: