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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Exhumed91

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Exhumed91
  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 May 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 20252
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Exhumed91's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML

#5662905 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (5404) - you deserved it (28138)

On 10/05/2009 at 2:53pm - misc - by backwardsinlife - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (26600) - you deserved it (7556)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

#5464922 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (8375) - you deserved it (29929)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

#5462375 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (2017)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (11403) - you deserved it (26418)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (1690)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided I would call in sick to work after working 60 hours the week before just so I could have a day off... My body responded this morning with vomiting and diarrhea so I had to call in sick and didn't get to have much fun... Karma 1 Me 0. FML

#5395171 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (7277)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:50pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 0.50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (6567) - you deserved it (69580)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

#5387422 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (26427) - you deserved it (2313)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by issy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML

#5345954 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (30249) - you deserved it (6889)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (10952) - you deserved it (35029)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (68089)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (50323) - you deserved it (2346)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (37096) - you deserved it (2124)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (1994)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)