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ExactYourRevenge's favorite FMLs
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
by and she doesn't even give bjs / 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML
by theydidsmellitthough / 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by IHeartBlueJay / 02/08/2013 at 12:31am / United States / Health
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML
by fish killer / 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm / Canada / Animals
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
by shaviTuT / 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm / Malaysia (Johor) / Animals
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
by GarageSallin / 02/07/2013 at 10:24am / Miscellaneous
by fviz / 02/07/2013 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
by hamandegger / 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
- Today, due to an issue at work, 2000+ emails were sent to a dummy email account, not real people.… Today, I got attacked on social media. In my bio, I had put "LAUREN I SEE YOU". I was talking about… Today, after spending five hours on the pond fishing, I put my final catch on the stringer that had…