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ExactYourRevenge

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ExactYourRevenge

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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ExactYourRevenge's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40596) - you deserved it (4552)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39962) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (4976)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10712) - you deserved it (25147)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (2615)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (2615)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (3887)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (2880)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12719) - you deserved it (31145)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (16751)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (3201)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (8016)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (6591)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10397) - you deserved it (34200)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)



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