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ExactYourRevenge's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by BadAssBandit897 / 02/23/2013 at 8:46am / Canada / Love
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 3:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML
by hé merde / 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML
by Great. / 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm / Brazil (Minas Gerais) / Kids
Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
by Paris101 / 02/22/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by ? / 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
by Apparently not a writer / 02/20/2013 at 11:36am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
by jealouspussy / 02/20/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…