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Evanito007

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Evanito007
  • Town/Country : The Streets
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 275
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Evanito007 : Im just a simple man.

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Evanito007's favorite FMLs

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

#3929257
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9832) - you deserved it (41454)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69390) - you deserved it (347)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
698 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73954) - you deserved it (15168)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML

#3030585
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (4398)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64086) - you deserved it (4982)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71333) - you deserved it (5322)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

#2213271
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (15880)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61449) - you deserved it (9821)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12717) - you deserved it (192140)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31971) - you deserved it (75437)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (87168)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

#211586
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70846) - you deserved it (3724)

On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86843) - you deserved it (195789)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (10785)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17118) - you deserved it (4137)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)



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