About Evanito007 : Im just a simple man.
About Evanito007 : Im just a simple man.
Evanito007's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Evanito007's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
by Anonymous / 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 9:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Bestfrienduncool / 09/30/2010 at 1:11am / Miscellaneous
by Pip / 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Butter_Cup / 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (California) / Money
by cheezmaster / 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
by anonymous / 11/21/2009 at 3:00am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
by snapped / 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML
by Ouch / 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
by jaxattax / 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly runs across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family that owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML
by JC / 10/19/2009 at 2:40am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
by MGZ / 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…