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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 3:15am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2458
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Evanito007 : Im just a simple man.

Evanito007's page activity

Visits<b>idefka</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:01pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:05pm<b>lfish62</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:15pm<b>hey72297</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:31pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:39pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 8:06am<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:29pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:07pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:46pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:38pm<b>lastunusedname</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:04pm<b>kumalo</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 10:27pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 6:27pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 10:51am<b>kansah</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 4:55pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 3:24pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:50pm

Evanito007's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Evanito007's badges

Evanito007's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

by Chelsea / 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm / United States / Love

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

by anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

by CDeVeney92 / 03/17/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

by lonely / 10/24/2011 at 10:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:14am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous