Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About EvanescenceLuver : Hey people! As my name states, I love Evanescence! But I love other bands too! I had a hard time choosing between Avenged Sevenfold, The Used, or Three Days Grace (My all-time FAV band). I turned 15 just a little while ago, and I love to draw and write. I'm good at both too, yay! XD I wish I could say that I drew my profile pic, but alas, I cannot. T_T FML wouldn't let me upload the pics I drew, since they were done on paint, but oh well!
So like, what else am I supposed to put on here...?
Um... I'd join the National Guard if I could, but they won't take me cause I have a mental disorder... Lol, isn't it funny that we can tell people shit like that (mental disorder part) on the internet, but won't admit it to our own friends and family?
Also... The glass is not half-full. The glass is not half-empty. THE GLASS DOES NOT HAVE AS MUCH FUCKING WATER AS IT SHOULD, SO EITHER DRINK IT OR FILL IT UP, MORONS! GAWD. Quit freaking debating it!
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
Friday 18 April 2014