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Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you totally deserved it (993)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you totally deserved it (2820)
On 09/22/2009 at 5:36am - misc - by kimmybr (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you totally deserved it (3777)
On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4626) - you totally deserved it (24864)
On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)
Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you totally deserved it (1460)
On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8559) - you totally deserved it (29064)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you totally deserved it (1694)
On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you totally deserved it (5707)
On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you totally deserved it (2112)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8773) - you totally deserved it (29925)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you totally deserved it (1722)
On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3710) - you totally deserved it (35376)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11168) - you totally deserved it (54387)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you totally deserved it (12133)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry 'Fiance' of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you totally deserved it (1285)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:34am - love - by OhDamn (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
