About EsotericBrent : Hey! Feel free to message me, but if you want a response, say something besides just "hi :)"! Tell me something interesting, or a joke; I like those.
In the meantime, I'm a college student studying computer science, who loves playing guitar and singing along, playing competitive sports (soccer is my first preference), Netflix, and good pasta.
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Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19619) - you deserved it (32634) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10879) - you deserved it (28120)
On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (3594)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (6013)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30123) - you deserved it (2691)
On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (8948)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16077) - you deserved it (1240)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31289) - you deserved it (2177)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (3034)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (1794)
On 08/25/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by coolcocoxxx (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (7949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (15869)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23194) - you deserved it (1197)
On 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm - misc - by Alex (woman) - United States
Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15530) - you deserved it (1629)
On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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