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EsotericBrent

Offline (the 04/21/2015 at 2:48am) | Search for a member

EsotericBrent

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3728
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EsotericBrent : Hey! Feel free to message me, but if you want a response, say something besides just "hi :)"! Tell me something interesting, or a joke; I like those.

In the meantime, I'm a college student studying computer science, who loves playing guitar and singing along, playing competitive sports (soccer is my first preference), Netflix, and good pasta.

EsotericBrent's page activity

Visits<b>emisheah</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:30pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 2:44pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:15pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Robert3Lee</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:43am<b>ThatOneGuyKy</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Gspilios</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:48pm<b>stimpy159</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:09pm<b>huntingguyss</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:29am<b>tamannab97</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:18am<b>LolaxLolz</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:34pm<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 8:23pm<b>UserError94</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 3:04pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 3:49pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 2:03pm<b>Si123</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:01am

Fucked!<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 6:20pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 2:08am<b>Panu</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:09am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:10pm<b>LolaxLolz</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:34pm<b>Melanie_marii</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:56am<b>tylercarolinex</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:19am<b>slyfox420</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:03am<b>caspergirl17</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:31am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:39am<b>trisc97</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 12:22am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:05am

EsotericBrent's FML badges

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100 kick ass comments

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See all of EsotericBrent's badges

EsotericBrent's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50482) - you deserved it (2691)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39435) - you deserved it (5541)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (7238)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (4156)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38609) - you deserved it (6816)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (44828)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41651) - you deserved it (4360)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55686) - you deserved it (4358)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55666) - you deserved it (4230)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (5443)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (3312)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (7456)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)



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