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EsotericBrent

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EsotericBrent
  • Town/Country : Hmph, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1319
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EsotericBrent : Hey! Feel free to message me, but if you want a response, say something besides just "hi :)"! Tell me something interesting, or a joke; I like those.

In the meantime, I'm a college student studying computer science, who loves playing guitar and singing along, playing competitive sports (soccer is my first preference), Netflix, and good pasta.

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EsotericBrent's favorite FMLs

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33990) - you deserved it (3698)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71580) - you deserved it (8703)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (3969)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46051) - you deserved it (13317)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41140) - you deserved it (2877)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15605) - you deserved it (37526)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (3737)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (6487)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (9880)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (2387)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11785) - you deserved it (38211)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30395) - you deserved it (5030)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (8733)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30277) - you deserved it (7879)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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