EscapeHorse

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EscapeHorse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1331
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About EscapeHorse : 🍼🍇💦

EscapeHorse's page activity

Visits<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 12:11am<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:08pm<b>hasimhaque</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:50pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 9:09pm<b>decha</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:39pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:23am<b>jardy</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:57pm<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:05am<b>michael3709</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:55am<b>haleymak_</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:28pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:14pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:49pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:38pm<b>xblaine</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:27pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:12pm

EscapeHorse's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of EscapeHorse's badges

EscapeHorse's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened up to my boyfriend about being sexually abused in the past. He said it explains why I'm "such a bitch" when it comes to personal contact. FML

by btoker / 10/15/2015 at 12:16pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

by wtf did he do / 07/19/2015 at 5:02am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I just woke up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

by postop / 06/25/2015 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 12:24pm / Work

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

by SisterOfTard / 11/10/2014 at 11:31am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

by jazzie7719 / 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

by purebliss / 12/05/2013 at 7:43pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

by anahira6 / 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (Texas) / Work