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EscapeHorse

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EscapeHorse

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 482
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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EscapeHorse's page activity

Visits<b>Lawlipop07</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:11pm<b>slimblack</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:41pm<b>tommylover842</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:55am<b>notfat14</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:15am<b>heythisisme02</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:54pm<b>hox83</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:28pm<b>alice_in_mordor</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:52pm<b>spenguin</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:59pm<b>CloudKumo</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 2:21am<b>TheLonesomeGamer</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:31am<b>tollyboy</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:37pm<b>jjones0818</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:03am<b>rawr10203040</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:28pm<b>CaptNomNom</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 4:03pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:58pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:12pm<b>julako</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:28pm

EscapeHorse's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of EscapeHorse's badges

EscapeHorse's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (48700)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (3544)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53056) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66948) - you deserved it (5565)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (2704)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50973) - you deserved it (7256)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (88801)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54957) - you deserved it (27610)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56262) - you deserved it (3250)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (128547)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

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