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EscapeHorse

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EscapeHorse

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EscapeHorse
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 905
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About EscapeHorse : King Kunta$$

EscapeHorse's page activity

Visits<b>michael3709</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:55am<b>haleymak_</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:28pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:14pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:49pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:38pm<b>xblaine</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:27pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:12pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Neverafter</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:44pm<b>staoc</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 1:34pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:30am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:28pm<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:53pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:34pm<b>PeaceFull</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:14am

EscapeHorse's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of EscapeHorse's badges

EscapeHorse's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32589) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
160 comments

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (1670)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

#21343418
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29939) - you deserved it (1956)

On 01/24/2015 at 12:24pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42809) - you deserved it (4039)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (53224)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (3935)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54863) - you deserved it (3072)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67294) - you deserved it (5594)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (2651)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
166 comments

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42956) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51158) - you deserved it (7267)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States



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