Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

EpicGuy70

Offline (the 05/16/2014 at 2:26pm) | Search for a member

EpicGuy70

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About EpicGuy70 : I am merely a student who loves having fun, getting to know people,and traveling. I will always say hello, write a comment, and help you out on FML.

EpicGuy70's page activity

Visits<b>testtest2</b> - yesterday at 9:39am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:43pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:05pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:33pm<b>xzxXxzx</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 3:59am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:51am<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:03am<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 3:21am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:25am<b>Randy_Orton</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:21pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:08pm<b>skulltorn</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 12:34pm<b>AetherFox42</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:57pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:33pm<b>powerrangerpunk</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:06am<b>Unlucky_Genius</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:17am<b>Ausdank</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:54pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:23am

Liked!<b>zbyszeq</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 11:19pm

EpicGuy70's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of EpicGuy70's badges

EpicGuy70's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50239) - you deserved it (7523)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56616) - you deserved it (4367)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40695) - you deserved it (3690)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you deserved it (22743)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61849) - you deserved it (5029)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

#21168163
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43209) - you deserved it (15517)

On 06/09/2014 at 12:28pm - work - by deservedly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56149) - you deserved it (6778)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45480) - you deserved it (4657)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46990) - you deserved it (4766)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44489) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83379) - you deserved it (4740)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

#3172918
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (9132)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm - work - by ArmyMan (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: