EmmaCecilie

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EmmaCecilie

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  • Number of visits : 1114
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

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EmmaCecilie's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

by ikickgingers / 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm / United States / Work

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

by jzappe / 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

by maniac11 / 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

by octoberrain / 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

by Anon / 10/10/2011 at 11:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health

Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML

by cc / 10/10/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Montana) / Money

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

by anonymous / 10/07/2011 at 11:09am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2011 at 5:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm / United States / Work

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy