Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Elementsk8r7280

Search for a member

Elementsk8r7280
  • Town/Country : Winter Springs, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Elementsk8r7280 : I'd type something clever or witty here, but I honestly can't think of anything at this moment. Oh well.

Elementsk8r7280's last visitors

redwrathasnakelovinbabeKarmaIsBeautifulwhatismyusernameThisIsHardFIFAxLegacyaa1717doctorhook86Welshitelochiamochiaswagisforchumps

Elementsk8r7280's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Elementsk8r7280's badges

Elementsk8r7280's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (2665)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19060) - you deserved it (15802)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11915) - you deserved it (39005)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10328) - you deserved it (41027)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33466) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42606) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

#18326133
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22918) - you deserved it (17534)

On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (3710)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41925) - you deserved it (11054)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35193) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

#18174225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (3209)

On 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm - health - by panickygrl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (4877)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27261) - you deserved it (957)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (41756)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: