Elementsk8r7280

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Elementsk8r7280

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3982
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Elementsk8r7280 : I'd type something clever or witty here, but I honestly can't think of anything at this moment. Oh well.

Elementsk8r7280's page activity

Visits<b>redwrath</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 5:27pm<b>asnakelovinbabe</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 1:19am<b>KarmaIsBeautiful</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 5:08pm<b>whatismyusername</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:35pm<b>ThisIsHard</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 7:52pm<b>FIFAxLegacy</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 2:49pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 10:46pm<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 1:55am<b>dpr130498</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 12:10pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 9:24pm<b>swagisforchumps</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 4:08pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 3:55pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 5:22pm<b>mjhakes</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 6:46pm<b>EsOSiQueEs</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 6:11pm<b>gneask</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 11:56pm<b>sktlzz14</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 3:38pm

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Elementsk8r7280's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

by Mariah Heimann / 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 11:48am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

by panickygrl / 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

by sophhiee / 11/05/2011 at 7:45am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/05/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous